Midnight Musings

Evan's at an interesting age. Sometimes he looks almost like he's still a baby and then another moment, with different light and a different angle, I look in his direction and standing in his place is a little boy. Sometimes, as in the following photo, it feels almost as if I'm getting a glimpse into his future as a man.

Maybe that ephemeral appearance is part of what causes the toddler mood swings. There are times, common occurrences, actually, when it feels like the kid hates me. If he's the least big grumpy (tired, sleepy, emotionally frustrated) he does not want me. I can't even put him to sleep anymore. Then an hour, or seconds, later he's climbing Mount Daddy and asking me to go outside to feed the chickens followed by snuggling on the couch to watch Go Diego Go. He says "I sorry," "please," and "thank you" without being asked and thirty minutes later turns belligerent and demanding. It must be tough being a toddler. In no other time in your life, except maybe puberty, do you change so dramatically so quickly. Your brain power explodes. Evan's up to complete sentences and pretending to be things he isn't. He can identify letters, count into the teens, and memorize simple songs, but there are times when can't even explain why he's angry. Your physical abilities improve in sudden jumps that leave you able to run and jump but unable to easily take off your own shirt.

There's probably a reason humans aren't usually allowed to remember being a toddler. That wild swirl of unadulterated joy, selfish anger, raving independence, and frustration at not being able to do what you so clearly understand is possible for everyone else would be a much too confusing memory for an adult.